VOTE: what should happen to this blog now that things have changed?

"I think you’re great.  Don’t stop blogging.  Please."

A reader named Renée just sent me that, and dang, was it nice to read. "In my search to find some sort of familiar voice online… I found nothing close," she said. And some other readers said similar: that I'd hit a weird niche that they couldn't find elsewhere, online or off.

I feel gratified that my torturous, whiny grieving-and-deciding process was useful to anybody. Really freakin' gratified. Now I just wonder what to do next. So you tell me: A, B, or C?

A) TOMBSTONE SITE
Should I stop posting to Nymphe and leave it here as a "tombstone" website? The point of that: some of these posts are linked from a lot of places, and people seeking information and balm for their wounds, they find 'em, they email me, they comment. So if the site stayed up, those posts would still be visible. And if that particular grieving person nosed around on the site, they would not be confronted by a bunch of new posts featuring Me the Pregnant Lady or Me the One with a Kid... which could be traumatic.

B) I-CHANGED-MY-MIND SITE
Leave Nymphe here. Leave the old posts. Leave the resources. But just keep telling my story as it unfolds. The new posts might sometimes refer to the eternal battle between defensive moms, defensive childless, and defensive childfrees, but they might also be about how I make the transition from my "No I won't give in to the biological clock" stance to the "Oh please I give up, can I have a baby now?" part of my life.

C) NUKE!
End the site, close it down, move on with my life. Main advantage to this is that I pay for my hosting on this site.

Any suggestions? Comment here, comment on Facebook, or email me at magdalen23 at le Gmail.

Comments

[Jenn Manley lee]

I like "B." Cause, I suppose, I sorta am/was in the same boat and I find you a reasonable and reasoned voice on either side of the fence--and on it as well!

Also, history and change is good.

[Renee]

B! Stands for baby (for you) and Bermuda (for me). Let's explore the VERY different choices women today are free to make.

[Jemiah]

Maybe a little from column A and a little from column B? I confess, I have never been a reader here, having not known it existed, as I am happily child-free and don't look into a lot of resources about it, but in my quick perusal of what I see here, not just from you, but from others, I think this is a valuable resource that can just keep on giving as you yourself move onto the next phase of your shared life on earth. BUT because it is a valuable resource for the child-free, some of whom are so grateful to have any resource at all, let alone such a rich and well-featured one, that aspect of the blog is no longer your concern - and you have another role to play now. Don't remove the site, but do not contribute to it anymore as a childfree woman. Make a new blog about "I never thought I'd do this... and I'm this age... and these are my experiences and resources that might also help you, out there on the big ol' internet." I think it'd be just as interesting and useful and valuable, but not for people searching for childfree spaces online. My .02... and much love and congrats to you, my dear friend.

[Shannon]

B. It's your story and struggles and internal dialogue, and you are still valid and evolving. Everything you felt before has merit and followers, as does what you are feeling now, as does what you'll be feeling a year from now. I say, as long as you are open to sharing, it will have more meaning than you know with the people who choose to follow your story.

[Sussu]

I'd love to see this site stay online because it's invaluable, but can you find a way to host it for free? Seems unfair that you're paying.

[tiffany lee brown / magdalen / etc]

thanks for the feedback, people! i could host it for free, though that means breaking all the links and everything. i have a pay-to-play blog service with TypePad Pro that covers a bunch of blogs, not just this one... i originally signed up so that it would provide the back end for a nonprofit website. the nonprofit may move our website elsewhere.

i dunno, i may just keep paying, keep the links. i do love TypePad as a blogging back end; the best i've used so far.

[Christina]

I'd say B -- if you feel comfortable with it. You should definitely leave it up as a resource -- it's practically a standing memoir, or a memoir in a different format. And if you still feel like sharing -- I'm happy to read your insights -- they're not like anyone else's.

[Colleen (col88)]

I think do whatever you want to....but I think you are a great writer and would love to keep reading. I agree with you that if you are looking for a childfree blog and stumble upon pregnancy, it will probably hurt. I would love to continue to read though so if you stop posting here, start another blog so we can all follow along! Hope you are doing well!

[Monica Lee]

B. I'm not childfree, but I enjoy reading your thought-provoking writing.

[magdalen - tiffany]

thanks you guys... i think what is happening (i'm working on Letting Things Happen in life as opposed to Planning All the Right Things)... is that this blog will continue being itself, despite me having this big change.

today i posted here & i also changed the banner header to reflect what is going on now. i'm thinking i might put little headers on pages and posts that say, "this part is a safe zone for childless/childfree/grievin peeps" or, "this post is parent-oriented" or whatever.

what Christina said above, about this beiong a "standing memoir," really stuck with me. so i think i'm just gonna stay here and let the blog evolve along with me. i guess i'm not seeing the point of a dead blog about childless/childfree issues --- if the thing is dead, it's dead and not of much use to people. the previous/old/linked posts and resources won't have any new stuff on them about pregnancy or children.

thanks everyone for your feedback. i've really been thinking about what was posted here and what you guys sent me in private email... and while LEtting It Happen, it seemed to evolve naturally in the direction of keeping Nymphe and letting it change.

[Assia]

it is great that you decided to stay.
what has been so wonderful and different about your blog is the honesty with which your described the ambiguity of your feelings. and if you describe your pregnancy and you mothering in the same vain, we call can greatly benefit from that - checking and comparing with our own experiences. thank you for your depth and sincerety

[magdalen - tiffany]

hey, thank you very much.

so far i don't seemt o be actually posting about pregnancy things. i dont' know if i'm still hesitant to discuss those things here, on nymphe, or if i'm just hesitant to publish a big public blog about them at all...