NYMPHE: Living Childless & Child-free

EXPLODING, FERTILE HEADS.

"On the other hand do not discount your Athena-like brainchildren that spring forth from your temples. They too can take a life of their own."

                        —my friend La M., to me, today

In many myths—and our dear friend Wikipedia can relate some of them to you—the "virgin" goddess Athena, goddess of wisdom, war, crafts, culty ritual goodness, and general kick-assiness, was born fully-formed from the head of Zeus. Whether she just popped out of there like a jack in the box or had to be hacked out of Zeus' skull by Prometheus or some other well-hung god is a matter of debate. Anyway. The image is clear: more than one way to birth something amazing.

She's also occasionally attributed with being an adoptive mom.

HEALING FROM THE GRIEF OF BEING CHILDLESS LEADS ONE WOMAN TO DEATH.

Desperately seeking healthy ways to grieve and move on? You're not alone. The question of motherhood or childlessness, for those of whom it happens to hit hard, can bring about deep grief and existential crisis. "What is the meaning of life?"

Well, we could ask Monty Python, or we could delve in deep and find it, ourselves. Especially if we're with reluctant/unwilling partners, this process can be even lonelier than usual. Or if, like some women (thank goddess not me), we're surrounded by an entire community that has children: what do you do if 100% of your friends are pregnant or have babies, if you live in a small town where family is the only topic of discussion, or if your church promotes procreation (you know my answer on that one, but i can't judge someone else for staying in what i consider a shitty religion; I've heard from more than one person that I'm stupid for staying in a marriage with someone who doesn't want to have kids with me. Takes all kinds.).

If you can get through this harrowing process without flinging yourself off a bridge or, like the characters in the film Raising Arizona, stealing someone's baby, you're already doing great. Hats off to you. But you may find a creeping need for deeper spirituality in your life. I recently did a creativity program that led me to write, in giant capital letters: I AM ANGRY AT GOD, even though, ya know, I don't even believe in God.

I started to see why people, especially around this age, finally throw in the towel on being rational and slide into some religion or other. It's because sometimes things are simply too much for us to bear. If we don't offload some of this on a hopefully benevolent, external spirit or being or god or Godness or universe, if we don't Let It Go (where does it go, exactly, the stuff we're instructed by New Agers to "let go"?)... well, we may not be able to make it through. Or we may become so bitter and twisted that we probably should've jumped off that bridge when the biological clock first smacked us down, because hey, who wants to live life bitter and twisted and sad and grieving and nasty? Not on a hipster-cynic level, but FOR REAL?

One childless stepmom (CSM, in online support parlance) whose partner didn't want more children sought help in a program that was supposed to transform life, mind, and spirit. It sure did. But she didn't live through that process.

Here's the story.

FEMININITY, WOMANHOOD, GENDER IDENTITY, & REPRODUCTION...

Commenters to the Nymphe blog, and other places where I've been involved in discussions about the choice of whether to reproduce, have asked whether I feel like less of a woman because I chose not to have biological children. (Some imply that if I do feel unwomanly for not being a biomom, it's merely a societal gender construct and therefore perhaps beneath me to feel...)

SOME BY CHANCE, SOME BY CHOICE

Nancy Rome wrote a thoughtful piece for the Washington Post that captures some of the breadth of the childless/childfree experience (at least for women). She spoke with 100% childfree by choice women, and those who had miscarriages or stillbirths and decided to continue life childfree. One woman said her decision—and other people's reactions to it—made her feel like an outlaw.

'But almost all the women I've talked with describe feeling acutely aware of what they see as our national obsession with motherhood,' she writes...

OBVIOUS CHILD

"Your pee smells like Cheetos" and "fucktard" are among the excellent lines in this short, Internet-viewable film. That alone should recommend "Obvious Child," but it gets extra points for representing what sex, love, pregnancy, and life are like for some young women.

Note: this post/that film is probably not suitable for people actively dealing with infertility and similar grief, so stop here. Also: SPOILER ALERT about the film follows.

Unlike "Juno" and "Knocked Up," Obvious Child doesn't gloss over...

I'LL BE ON NPR / OREGON PUBLIC BROADCASTING THIS WED. RE: CHILDLESS, CHILDFREE, AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF.

New Oregon director Tiffany Lee Brown will be a guest on the Oregon Public Broadcasting show Think Out Loud on Wednesday, October 14, 2009. The show airs live 9:00-10:00 a.m. on National Public Radio stations throughout Oregon and Southwest Washington.

TOL welcomes your online comments and live calls to the show. So get on the horn and ask an intelligent, nice question or share your story! The online discussion is already underway. During the show, call 888-665-5TOL (or 665-5865), or email comments to thinkoutloud ((at)) opb.org .

ABORTION DURING THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

"It isn’t very often that you’re called upon to make a decision that you know will affect the rest of your life, a decision that is irrevocable and defining. I chose to end the pregnancy for what I thought were good reasons, chief among them being my boyfriend’s emphatic unwillingness to be a father." —Margaret Gunther in Modern Love

Personally, I've never been pregnant. I may not even be fertile for all I know; however, I'm paranoid about disease and unwanted pregnancy, so I haven't chanced it. But I did notice a change in my attitude during the time (mid thirties) when I finally, very reluctantly, started acknowledging that I might actually want to have a biological child—something I never imagined for myself...

THE REFERENDUM

Which lifestyle to choose? Kids to have or not have? Marriage to pursue or singlehood to live? Why so much snark, jealousy, and bitterness between "the referendums" of people who've chosen their various paths—especially when they hit middle age?

Tim Kreider's excellent, poignant essay on the subject, and some surprisingly intelligent, cogent comments*, make for great reading on the NY Times website. 

*"Surprising" given some of the idiotic, bizarre, hateful, and vitriolic comments I've seen on that site. Maybe Kreider is given a break because he's male? Or maybe it was the word "infertility" that sent NY Times blog posters into a foaming-at-the-mouth, disgusting comment-frenzy last year...

TO BREED OR NOT TO BREED... in Marie Claire

Laura Scott interviewed me & lots of other childless by choice people for her book Two is Enough. And some of her conclusions appear on the website of Marie Claire, archived from the October edition of the print magazine.

The article, entitled "To Breed or Not to Breed?" and written by Abigail Pesta, busts some typical cultural myths about childfree people (while perpetuating one myth that bugs the hell out of me). Here they are, and here are my own musings on 'em...

For some other myths, coming from the opposite direction, check out this interview with Christina Gombar.

I AM BIOLOGICALLY CHILDLESS.

TO SEE NEW POSTS ON THE NYMPHE BLOG, PLEASE KEEP ON SCROLLIN'... THIS VIDEO IS JUST AN INTRODUCTION. HELLO, EVERYONE.

WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY...

"Basically, nature wants you to have babies. Society wants you to pay to raise wage-earners, taxpayers, and cannon fodder for their wars. ...Saying no to that dictate of nature bestows quite a bit of power that you would have invested in off-spring that can be directed elsewhere. So if you decide not to have kids, pick another twenty year project and get busy." --Franis Engel on pandalous.com, one of many thoughtful commenters discussing The Baby Question

My Spidey Sense is tingling! I read this today after posting yesterday's ramblings about, among other things, my ongoing fight with/against/? my body and nature. I offhandedly speculated that by having will, discipline, and determination win out over natural and biological urges, I and my kind might be acquiring some sort of spiritual warrior status. Nuns and monks and yogis can surpass their "natural" urges, so why not us?

But I thought Engel's sentence above very interesting. "Saying no to that dictate of nature bestows quite a bit of power..." When in the thick of The Baby Issue, I don't feel powerful. I feel like I'm in a deathmatch, wrestling with an angel or a demon, feeling the fragmentation of my mind/will and my body/biology. That deathmatch is eating up much of my time and energy. And yet here is the idea that it might bestow on me, on us, a special kind of power, personally and in the world.

As anyone who's ever gone through serious grief or serious struggle knows, these are sources of personal transformation, greater empathy with others going through their own struggles, greater determination, the realization that one can get through many tough times, and suchlike. Engel suggests that we not only earn these lessons and the "power" that comes with them, but a level of different power than parents can have, simply because we have chosen a different path and therefore have more energy to expend on something besides our children.

having grief in one area of life doesn't snuff out all fulfillment in other areas of life.

A childfree by choice woman named May just posted some cool comments and questions on an older post, and got me off & running again about the childless/childfree/motherhood/fulfillment tangle. Read her post and my absurdly lengthly replies right here on yr local Nymphe blog.

a few highlights: maybe we become some kind of yogi-type spiritual warriors by denying our bodily desires to such an extent, like monks. who knows.

i don't imagine this (level of daily grief) will be a permanent feeling.  (it's already been changing and getting better...)

in terms of grief, it's very different to other griefs i've experienced and/or watched others go through.

i do live a fulfilling life, always have. but i am not fulfilling what my body, my dna, and my hormones believe to be my Biological Destiny. that's a huge struggle.

it's like talking to someone who believes in angels or that God wants them to wear a veil all the time or that aliens are controlling them despite the tin-foil-lined hat they're wearing: fascinating but utterly, well, alien to me. UNTIL i experienced it.

i was probably worst off around age 37-38. if that hadn't improved somewhat, and if i hadn't found ways to manage the grief and connect with others going through similar grief, well, i'm not sure i'd be here today.

imagine you're on a chain, in a river, like the Greeks' Tantalus. you're starving and you're thirsty. somehow, your body keeps going despite the fact that you never get food or water. every time you bend to drink, the chain stops you. there's a fragrant orange tree right overhead. you can't reach the orange, however many times you try. maybe someone upriver is BBQing a steak. for infertile people, the chain may seem irrevocable. but many of us fall somewhere along a wide spectrum of childlessness/childfree life. we DECIDE not to drink the water or eat the orange, for the sake of the child, our marriages, our health, the planet, or other reasons. can you imagine that? standing in a river, your body insisting that you are dying of thirst, and not drinking? well, that's what this feels like.

part of why i want to tell my story is that i think younger women should be aware that however solid they are in their childfree decision, they may get their asses completely kicked by the bioclock later on. (yes, i'm willing to get dogpiled, as i have on other forums, for daring to say this.)

on childless women not being womanly: is Lauren Hutton unwomanly: Oprah? Simone de Beauvoir, Frida Kahlo? Ella Fitzgerald? Julia Child? yeah, didn't think so.

nature is another matter altogether. there are some animals and plants out there who replicate without breeding, but not generally a cuddly bunch. going through this, i suddenly felt alienated from nature itself.

to comment -= please read the original thread right here on yr local Nymphe blog and add your comment there.

SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH...

I just wanted to mention... well, I've been having a really, really tough time lately with my artwork and writing and stuff that is inspired by or directly related to being biologically childless. Some people are being so fabulous and supportive, and others have just struck me down, a dogpile.

I decided to re-read the newspaper article about my work in this realm (by Inara Verzemnieks for The Oregonian). The article appreciated my work, and re-reading it made me feel a bit better. Then, online, there were a bunch of comments following the article. A lot of them were absolutely shitty and ridiculous and mean.

And then there were the responses *to* the shitty responses. People appreciating exploratory art in general, people supporting the article, people supporting me. People supporting the idea that someone wants to make their work about a silent issue, one that is ridiculed. And there are the responses here on Nymphe. It feels right, bringing up these subjects, writing about them, having conversations. Sometimes it's just really, really fuckin' hard.

So that's my check-in for the day. And here's what someone posted on The Oregonian, in response to people tryin' to take me down:

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -- Schopenhauer

Oregon's Pregnancy/Crime Law

If you kill a pregnant woman, should you receive a different prison sentence than if you kill a non-pregnant woman?

Suppose, as the new Oregon law dictates, you should indeed get a harsher sentence for killing the pregnant woman.

What does this mean?

Does it mean that the embryo-foetus-"child" within is a separate person you can murder, thus increasing your prison sentence? If that's the case, should women be tried for murder when they have miscarriages or abortions?

Does it mean that pregnant women are more worthy of protection by the law than are non-pregnant women and men? If that's the case, do we approve of this discrimination against the non-pregnant?

How could a law that sounds so reasonable start unraveling so quickly once exposed to a few questions?

GOOGLE STRIKES AGAIN

Google search:
childless   therapist   portland   oregon

first link to pop up:
NYMPHE: Living Childless & Child-free
Childless or childfree? Women as mothers, as notmothers, as artists and writers. ... KOIN-TV in Portland, Oregon, reports that a restaurant in Silverton, ...
magdalen.blogs.com/nymphe/ - Cached - Similar -

so yes,
in my attempt to find a therapist in my town who is actually a biologically childless/childfree woman herself, who might be able to discuss these issues with me from a notmother/nonparent/nullipara's point of view, what Google found me was this:

my own fucking blog.

AAAAAAUGGGGGH!

Easter Island Project: links

I've been on the road with the Easter Island Project, so I haven't had much time to post here.

The weirdness and intensity that is the onslaught of the biological clock continues, though every day I reconfirm my choice to remain childless/childfree. I will say this: at age 40, it is still difficult, especially practicing 'selective avoidance' enough to stay sane. However, the level of tormented grief I experienced a few years ago has definitely subsided. I feel there is hope.

So anyway: I posted a couple photos from the Portland and Seattle sessions on 2GQ.org if you're interested. Lots more fun stuff to come as I sort through all the photos, videos, and "seeds" I'm taking to Easter Island. (If you missed my spam: the project arose out of my interest in childlessness/childfree living, and the petri dish of overpopulation that Easter Island's history provides.)

Join the email list at New Oregon Arts & Letters, the presenter of the project, if you want updates. You'll also receive the occasional announcement about other projects the organization sponsors. 

GOOGLE RESULTS:

No results found for "cure for the biological clock"

Bay Area Tonight: join me for writing, chatting, artmaking...

... at Myrtle Street Review headquarters in West Oakland, April 18. Read on for details.

Hang out, see some in-progress video that arises from my work in childlessness, and if you want to, make something for the Easter Island Project. You don't have to be "a writer" or "an artist" to dive in and have some fun with it!

Image: a "seed" made for the project by K. T. for the Seattle Studio Current session.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A PENIS."

I'm just quoting Isabella Rossellini in "Green Porno 2: Starfish." No, this isn't porn per se. It's just really cool and involves puppets. See the video free at Sundance Channel. The limpet section is cool, too. Well, all of 'em are.

I'm reminded of how my childhood learning, from fairy stories to educational films, revolved around reproduction so much...

PRIVACY POLICY, COPYRIGHT POLICY, ETC.

TypePad have asked us bloggers to clarify our privacy policies. Here's the Nymphe one, along with information about copyrights and how we'd like you to be nice about it if you steal our words, photos, or ideas. (This policy statement itself is borrowed from 2GQ.org.)

"THE KITCHEN SINK" on EXHALE

Exhale, the online magazine "for intelligent people" dealing with issues having to do with childlessness, losing a child, infertility, and the like, has given my piece "The Kitchen Sink" its ArtEx Award.

Read it at exhalezine.com.

PAID FAMILY LEAVE: COMPASSIONATE OR DISCRIMINATORY?

if you want to have a baby, you should be able to take three months off work to have a baby.

if you want to write a book of poetry, you should be able to take three months off work to write a book of poetry.

i recently joined in a conversation on Oregonlive.com, the online companion to our local newspaper, The Oregonian. (the above bits are from my responses.) In an Op-Ed piece, Elizabeth Hovde argued against a proposal for a paid family leave law in Oregon. As Hovde put it, "While granting paid leave for important life events sounds like a nice idea, it's odd to charge all employees—regardless of their means or income—so other employees can take several weeks off work."

Oregonian article on working with childlessness

 

hello nimfee readers --- over the weekend, the Sunday Oregonian ran an article about my writing and artwork inspired by childlessness. it's now online at oregonlive.com , complete with the usual array of ranting internet bullies who didn't appear to have actually read the article before they started dissing me, infertile women, etc etc. ah well. i think we all get a little ranty and whiny online sometimes, eh?

motoya nakamura took the photo i've reproduced here... this is a small sculpture that someone offered to the Easter Island Project as a "seed" during the Port Townsend "Seeding Easter Island" performance. i don't know who made it. (it's cool - the little acorn in the middle swings around - kinetic sculpture.)

people interested in participating in the project: please email me at easterislandproject (at) gmail.com for details, dates, etc. thanks!

also: that awesome green hooded shrug i'm wearing in the Oregonian photos was created for me by the awesome Portland designer Holly Stalder  using a silk and gold-thread scarf given to me at the wedding of my friends David and Rathna in Madras/Chennai, India.  

MORE ON "DEEP GRIEF"

"this may sound harsh, but i've seen moms whose only connection to life was their children. and that is not fair to children." that's part of my reply to a comment here on Nymphe about "deep grief." for some reason, the blogging software isn't allowing me to post a comment to respond... so i'm putting the comment here. madeline, i wish you the best and i hope you find that connection you crave. you are not alone. you are not alone. you are not alone.

(there's more if you want to keep reading this post...)

PARTICIPATE: ART, WRITING, & PERFORMANCE INSPIRED BY THE CHILDLESS EXPERIENCE

  

TIFFANY LEE BROWN: 
THE EASTER ISLAND PROJECT

We are compelled to create—to make, write, act, and give birth. How do we manifest this deep desire? How do our creations—novels, babies, and atom bombs—affect our lives, our culture, and our planet?

The Easter Island Project invites audiences to explore the questions through the act of creation itself with Plazm editor and 2GQ director Tiffany Lee Brown, as she prepares for an interdisciplinary art expedition to Easter Island in the South Pacific. 

Inspired by Tiffany's investigation into biological childlessness in contemporary American culture, the Easter Island Project is an ongoing participatory art and performance work. Participants and audience members "seed" the project by generously contributing their own creativity in person, online, and through the mail.  

Want to participate, or come to a live event? Please email easterislandproject@gmail.com . Details will be updated throughout the year at 2GQ.org.

UPCOMING EVENTS: Seattle, Portland, Arizona, San Francisco Bay Area, New York City, and Rapa Nui, Chile.

THANK YOU.

Since starting the Nymphe blog, performing "House Bound," and writing "The Bubble of Silence: Are some topics, such as childlessness, unfit for polite conversation?" for Oregon Humanities magazine, I've begun to receive support and feedback from women in my situation and from many others as well. Thank you.

As a lot of you know, dealing with the grief of childlessness can make us feel horribly alone and misunderstood, sometimes obsessed with feelings and intense desires that other people seem to find abstract, odd, or perhaps selfish. And as some of you also know, being an artist or a writer or a blogger can feel similar, like we're spewing our souls into a vast, oxygenless galaxy, hoping another astronaut might drift by and wave hello. Thank you.

So I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the cards you've sent to me c/o the Plazm and 2GQ post office box. Grateful for the many emails and Facebook messages. Grateful, too, when you choose to speak up and post comments to this blog. For such a socially uncomfortable issue, childlessness apparently affects a heckuva lot of people. We know one thing, at least: we are not alone.

Thank you.

BABY DADDIES IN THE MOVIES

A recent post on Tasty Lil' Things blog featured this movie trailer. Coming from the biologically "childless by marriage" camp, I was interested in seeing a male character try to convince his lady that they should have kids—partly to save their marriage. Whether the film Not Easily Broken turns out to be worth watching, it's at least a gender twist on the more familiar formulas of She's Having a Baby, Baby Mama, Juno, Knocked Up, and, oh, about fourteen thousand other movies. Do "fertility films" serve a feminist function or are they just the latest delivery method (so to speak) for a "sunset-and-rainbows kind of Hollywood schmaltz", as suggested by Alissa Quart in Mother Jones?

TAROT READING FUNDRAISER: ARTWORK INSPIRED BY CHILDLESSNESS

dear people of the world & beyond:

wouldn't you or one of your loved ones simply adore getting a genuine, proper Tarot reading as a gift? why yes, you would! my psychic powers predict it.

readings may be redeemed in person or over the phone. please see seedcake.etsy.com for more info & to purchase your gift certificate. let the mystical mayhem begin!

i've been reading Tarot for nearly two decades, have written about Tarot and other oracles for publication, and i am the creator of the Burning Tarot deck.

the Easter Island Project is an ongoing work inspired by my personal experience and subsequent research into childlessness in our culture. all Tarot proceeds benefit the non-profit arts and literary organization 2GQ—specifically, computer related expenses—and The Easter Island Project—specifically, expenses for related travels to San Francisco, Seattle, and of course, Easter Island, Chile, in the South Pacific. non-financial support is also welcome.

xo and thank you...

miss magdalen

PS: and i've lately been recruited to do parties with this, too. great fun.

ON CHILDLESSNESS: LARA OWEN part 2

It turns out Lara Owen and I blogged each other simultaneously... Thank you, Lara.

Lara's blog entry on childlessness appears here, along with kind words about my Oregon Humanities essay: laraowen.com.

Lara Owen is the UK and France based author of "Her Blood is Gold," soon to be reprinted in its third edition. She's also a whizz-bang astrologer!

ON CHILDLESS GRIEF: ZEN MOMENTS IN FRANCE

My writing group friend Lara Owen published an excellent story about interacting with childless/childfree women in France. Read it at Zenmoments.org.

"THE BUBBLE OF SILENCE" in OREGON HUMANITIES MAGAZINE

"The Bubble of Silence" addresses how difficult it is to discuss the grief of childlessness in everyday life, and explains a little of what we go through as grieving childless women, whether due to infertility or other issues.

the article appears in the new issue of Oregon Humanities magazine, the civility issue. i believe that sample issues are available free via oregonhumanities.org - click on "publications."

THE GRIEVING CHILDLESS: ARE WE FROM ANOTHER PLANET?

i'm beginning to think that whatever anyone says about childlessness-related grief (whether they are childless/childfree by some choice of their own, like me, or infertile), no one is going to understand except people who've gone through it. it's like explaining an orgasm to someone who's never had one, or hunger to someone who's never wanted food. it probably sounds like those of us experiencing this grief are from another planet.

the above is part of an exchange i had with a commenter named Sarah. i thought her questions were interesting... if you click "continue", you can read the conversation.

CHILDLESS/CHILDFREE BOOKS REVIEWED

I've written up mini-reviews of various books on childlessness, childfree living, and infertility. Check them out here.

WHEN IS BLOOD A MISCARRIAGE?

Alicia Shvarts caused a veritable shytestorm at Yale with a performance art piece that dealt with repeated, self-induced, so-called miscarriages.

The Associated Press reports that the work was an intentional hoax here. The Yale newspaper published the artist's explanation here.

A quote from Shvarts: "...it is a myth that ovaries and a uterus are “meant” to birth a child. When considering my own bodily form, I recognize its potential as extending beyond its ability to participate in a normative function. While my organs are capable of engaging with the narrative of reproduction — the time-based linkage of discrete events from conception to birth — the realm of capability extends beyond the bounds of that specific narrative chain."

KIDS IN RESTAURANTS, IN THE NEWS IN OREGON

KOIN-TV in Portland, Oregon, reports that a restaurant in Silverton, Oregon, has posted a sign demanding that children behave, and that no children over 6 may dine at the establishment any more. The reporter notes with astonishment that this is "not illegal" at the State level. i can't find a URL for this.

GRIEF ABOUT CHILDLESSNESS? THE SOLUTION:

The solution, as any parent can tell you, is to get involved with someone else's children. AGH.

A childless woman feels uncomfortable and left out when all the women at her regular breakfast event discuss their children and grandchildren at length. Advice columnist Carolyn Hax recommends that the childless woman volunteer with children in need. Read it here (scroll down to second question): washingtonpost.com. To email Carolyn with your thoughts on this issue: tellme@washpost.com.

"Volunteer with Children in Need"

...and other sage advice to the childless from parents.

Today, Carolyn Hax, advice columnist for a syndicated column "Tell Me About It," originating at the Washington Post, printed a letter from a woman who was unable to have children. This woman finds it very difficult to sit through events with women who talk on and on about their kids and grandkids. Hax's advice was that the childless woman should take interest in other people's kids, and "start volunteering your time with children in need."

Holy crap, am I sick of this approach! I wrote in a long letter about ending the silence around childlessness, and about using "selective avoidance" as a way to limit one's grief --- and take control of the situation. The letter follows, for anyone who might be interested.

MADELYN CAIN: THE CHILDLESS REVOLUTION

If you're looking for the standard-issue indignant stance on childfree living, you won't find it here. Nor will you find the sorrow of infertility slowly beaten like a dead horse, surrounded by solemn images of blurry, gauzy women. It's not an upbeat, feel-good book about how cool we childfree women are, replete with comics and putdowns of moms. Nor is it a staunch defense of parenting and childrearing.

from my review of Madelyn Cain's "The Childless Revolution" on Amazon, a book which generated a flurry of surprisingly harsh comments.

Minor Peeve of the Day

Airlines always let my partner or I use one of their big plastic bags as added protection for backpacks and such that we check in. I feel guilty about the environmental factor, but try to reuse the plastic, and I count on the bags being available.

Continental bagged up my backpack on the way to New York recently. Then at Newark on the way back, they refused. "Bags are only for baby carriers and strollers," they say. I ask to speak to someone about it, get to speak to someone, they say the same
thing.

In other words, Continental Airlines grants favours to parents of babies, and by dint of not offering the same services to non-parents, they are discriminating against us. A tiny annoyance, sure, but it reiterates the endless drumming of the cultural message: babies are special and important, parents are special and important, and if you are not a parent with a baby, you are not special and your needs are not important. Yep, I'm a little oversensitive/overaware of these issues now. It's just plain true, though.

HOUSE BOUND: APRIL 13 AT PERFORMANCE WORKS NW

What happens when you get five women artists, writers, performers in one "house" together, in five different "rooms"? In this case, you get an unusually intimate experience through new motherhood, relationships, living solo, and being childless or childfree.

"Kinesthetic salon" delivers unusual, immersive experience of art, food, performance, and installation at Performance Works Northwest on April 13

NEW NEWS: our poster will be on display this week in Zagreb, Croatia, at ZGRAF, an international exhibition for graphic design and visual communication established in 1975. designed by award-winning Plazm art director Josha Berger, it features Emily Stone in a video still from Tiffany Lee Brown's "Home Movie".

Ticket price includes hors d'oeuvres, wine, and tea. Tickets cost $15 in advance or $20 at the door, via Brown Paper Tickets online or by phone at 503 475 2306. Performance Works NW is located at 4625 SE 67th Avenue; various show times occur April 13 at 11 a.m., 12:30 p.m., 2:00, 3:30, and 5:00. "House Bound" is co-presented by 2GQ, a project of the non-profit organization 2 Gyrlz Performative Arts.

For details, keep reading...